An Outlet.

This isn’t goodbye.

I feel so many emotions. I mostly feel empty because you’re not here anymore. I know it isn’t your fault and I hope you can forgive me for doing what I did. I just wasn’t ready. I feel selfish but I know you deserve better. We’ll meet again someday, when the time is right. And we can be together forever. I promise to wait for you. To take of myself while you’re away. I want to be the best I can be for you. I promise to never hurt you again. Our life together will be happy. I’ll make sure of that. We’ll have an unbreakable bond that no one could break. I will protect you always. I promise to  be understanding, loving, caring, whatever you need me to be. Forever. This isn’t goodbye. I’ll see you when you’re ready. :*

Friends For Life.

Man, have I been busy! So much drama going on. Too much to talk about now. I’m trying to move on now. Unfortunately, for so many reasons, things have come to an end between Alec and I…in a romantic sense that is. We have decided that we are going to stay friends because we both can’t stand the thought of losing each other. I care so much for him. I do love Alec, and all I want is for him to be happy. He deserves to be happy. Everyone does. He is a really good person who tries so hard to better himself. He doesnt realize how special he is. I’ve never met anyone quite like him. But here’s the thing- I dont really know him that well. Or at least, as well as I want to. There is so much more that I want to know. It’s a good thing that we are going to be friends because we rushed into things. We wanted to be loved so badly  that we didn’t take the time to build a friendship, a foundation. So, when things got rocky, we fell apart. But now we are working on that and building that foundation. Fate definitely brought us together, but I think that it’s the wrong time for a relationship…for the both of us. We both have some soul searching to do and some family issues to take care of. In order to truly love someone else, I believe that you should be happy with yourself and love yourself. So, we could be on the road/path that leads us back together…we just have to focus on our current situation. We need to build our friendship and just see where life takes us. Who knows- we could be together forever, that’s just something that we have to come back to and think about it when the time is right. But for now, we are friends. And I’m happy about it. Very happy.

Alec, I will always love you. If things never become more than friends again, then just know that you will always have a special place in my heart. You were my first true love, and I will never love anyone the way I loved you.